By LINDSAY ANDERSON
He is everything she is not. He is wonderful and loud and friendly. Happy. He’s beautiful, and frankly, that all scares her. It scares her that he is so completely different than her. But she loves him. She loves him despite the fact that he is all of those wondrous things that she isn’t.
See, she’s quiet and keeps to herself. She doesn’t tell him everything. She’s smart but doesn’t use her intelligence to her advantage. And to top it all off, she’s sad. She feels so overwhelmed because she knows she’s not good enough for him. When he compliments her, she could think of a million and one things that would contradict that statement. She feels so disgusting in her own skin it’s enough to make her want to die.
She doesn’t want him to think she’s some kind of nutcase, but she needs him now more than ever. She doesn’t want to bury him under all of her problems and worries, but what else can she do? Nobody seems to like her nor do they understand her. She doesn’t want to ruin him, though.
He is happy and carefree and everything in between, and she’s drowning. She is so upset with everything and to need him is like asking him for a leg. Basically asking him the impossible. She doesn’t want him to think any different of her; she doesn’t want him to throw everything aside just for her. He has a life, a happy one, and she doesn’t want to take that away because of her inconveniences. She just hopes that whatever is wrong with her goes away soon.